Thursday, September 9, 2010

The Tale of the Perpetually Packed Parcel

There once was a man who received a package in the mail.
It had obviously been packed by his mother as it was bound in layers of packing tape that resembled the dig of an archeologist. Layer upon layer, small bones, cutlery, ornamental jewelry, ancient scrolls, and ceremonial headress rested in their respective layers. Try as he might, he could not peel off the successive layers and having no knife or scissors or otherwise handy multi-tools available during this era, he drove to the store to buy a really nice box-knife, pocket kniife, and pruning shear tool; bright metallic red in color, and presumably factory sharpened - and encased in a hard plastic package with no flaps, seams, creases, or perforations along which to open it.

He struggled with getting this presumably marvelous tool out of its packaging and realized that he would need a box-knife, scissors, or otherwise handy multi-tool available during this era to open his box-knife contraption. He searched far and wide for such a tool that was not packaged but soon realized that either because of stupid children or stupid parents more like, there were none to be found.

Saddened; he returned home. Lamented his unopened package. He picked up a pen and carefully across the front marked "Return to Sender" and placed it back in his mail box.

The end.

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