Monday, April 15, 2013

Just a Little Advice for the Tea Party/Republican Party

Since I can't tell you all apart anymore, I have lumped you all in there together. Here's some advice that I think might be useful to you. But I realize that the worst thing in the world is unsolicited advice, especially that which comes from someone who for 45 years has tried to figure out what he is and has failed.

These are in no particular order.

* Schedule some training from some hi-tech firm, not the leaders of the firm with which you so well identify but from the front line tech-geek, preferably someone who uses the gear they have developed. This may be difficult at first, because they are most likely, at worst, tree-hugging, come-as-you-are Northwest liberals, with those little bushings in their ear lobes, or at best crunchy-conservatives who like the whole tree hugging thing but with out the piercings and ear-bushings. Ask them to bring you up to speed on modern technology. Now listen very closely, Mitch McConnell. Right now you are an embarassment to your state, your country, and the legislature. The Mr. Magoo thing ain't working now (see suggestion #2) Following this advice will save your career, if that's what it is you call it.  Recording devices no longer look like this.:

 or this:

They are now much smaller and more powerful than you can imagine. In fact, they are magical things that can record hours of audio and video. Ask Mr. Romney. Really, the tea party's inability to adapt and learn is quite shocking.

* Mr. McConnell, and others, the Mr. Magoo thing ain't working.

*Please, for the love of God. Just stop. Please, please, just stop. Okay, you were instrumental in pushing through the new raw milk law in Arkansas. Thank you. But if I had any suspicion at all that you did this because it was the right thing to do and not just pandering to your Tea Party constituency, if I really felt like this was more than just a political ploy to get a republican in the Governor's chair, I would be a little more sincere with the thank you-s. But, I guess, since you haven't learned your lesson from the tape recorder, you still haven't learned you lesson from the 80s and the Moral Majority. Falwell, Dobson, Terry, Colson and their ilk proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Religious Right/Moral Majority movement in the 80s failed to "take America for God" back then and it is failing now. There is already too much noise, too many stressors. Your talking head's Gospel of the American Revolution is a part of the problem. It is not a solution. Do America a favor and just be quiet.

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