Pages

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Combustible Chapter 6 - Salt and Bananas



Salt and Bananas

Jaime was trying to do the math in her head. She was out of salt and really wanted one bunch of bananas. But with the 40 dollars she had in her pocket she wasn't sure if she could swing it. It was Monday, just three days after payday and the two $20.00 bills were all she had left after rent, utilities, lunches, the babysitter, and a "new" pair of shoes, bought from the Goodwill off of Pat Booker Road. At least they were "new" to her. With four days till her next pay check, Jaime, standing in line at the HEB Grocery in San Antonio, was weighing her options. The facts and figures ran through her head much more quickly than I can describe them to you:

"Gas tank = 3/4 full
Diapers stocked.
Baby food in the cart = $10.95 + 8% sales tax (why do they tax food anyway?)
Bananas = $1.19
Salt = $.89

That's about $14.00 and I still haven't bought formula, FHP, and eggs for the kids for breakfast this weekend, and then there's the supply fee due for the preschool, and the extra $10.00 for picking the kids up late from the after school babysitter...I just don't have enough."

The single Mom had been here before, deciding what to put back on the shelf if she wanted to do what was right, but what is right? She didn't rent movies; she didn't eat out; she didn't go on dates; she didn't buy lunch at work. She had no pets - not even a gold fish. She turned off her cable back when things got really tight. She's driving around with a tail light out and the front end of the car shakes a little when she brakes. There's a leaky faucet in the bathtub which is making her water bill higher than usual. She cut her own hair and tried her best, without products she couldn't afford, to style it in as fashionable an appearance as she could, both to hide the uneven lines produced as she tried to cut the back holding a hand mirror and staring into the bathroom mirror looking over her shoulder, and to keep from getting into trouble with her appearance at her office job, where she made very little money to copy, type, file, answer phones, plan travel for the executives, and look pretty. Right now her bob-cut red hair hang limp around her worried face as she thought to herself:

"Maybe if I put half the baby food back and get some marked down hamburger. I don't guess I really need the bananas either. I really need to wash my hair and I am almost out of shampoo. Half the baby food will get me through till Thursday night, then I'll have to come here again for the rest once I get may paycheck cashed. Ah! Getting the check cashed costs me 1%. One percent of $432 is four dollars, thirty two cents. The kids have been invited to a birthday party, we're not going to be able to go - can't get a present."

She stayed in line and rolled the reality of things through her mind over and over again, as she shuffled forward as each shopper paid and moved on with their lives.

"If I leave the line to put this stuff back now, people are going to get pissed and then I'll have to stand in line again, and that will make me late picking up the kids."

She teared up in frustration. It was then she decided her kids would not go without food, nor was she going to feed them weeks old hamburger for dinner. She pulled out her check book the moment she decided her best course of action.

Now readers, this is November 2002, a time when it was still possible to participate in the activity known as "floating a check"  - a procedure, no longer possible at most establishments in this, our present day.

She felt guilty doing it. But somehow she rationalized it by distinguish between what was "right" and what was "legal". Sometime the two are mutually exclusive.

It was Monday, one week into the pay period and with just the two badly worn twenties in her purse, she wrote a check for $47.23 which, should, unless something happened between now and then, get her through till next payday - four long days away. She did this knowing that even if she deposited those twenties in the bank tomorrow morning (the banks were now all closed) she would be overdrawn by $7.23, which would result in a $25.00 overdraft fee. As the check was accepted, stamped, and stuck under the tray in the register drawer, she felt no relief. She knew she would be back again tomorrow, or perhaps she would try a different store. On Tuesday morning, after dropping the kids off at eight o'clock, she swung by the customer service desk of a Kroger's down the road from the HEB she wrote the hot check at the night before. She cashed another check for $48.00. She held that cash sacred throughout the morning at work and then during her 30 minute lunch break, she skipped her brown bag lunch, leaving it in the office fridge, and stopped by her bank. She signed the deposit slip at the desk situated in the middle of the luxurious-glass-clad building, walked gingerly to the first open teller she could find, guiltily deposited the cash. The teller gave an almost inaudible "hummph" as she pulled up Jaime's account, and no doubt, saw her balance of almost zero, logged the deposit, printed the receipt and slid it across the marble counter top, "Have a nice day" she said not without some amount of sarcasm. The same pattern would be repeated for Jaime on Wednesday, Write a Check, Cash a Check, Deposit Cash, Suffer the humility, Get...Through...The...Week... Then Thursday again and then again on Friday as she did not get her paper paycheck until 5pm every other Friday. Then Saturday morning she would need to be at the bank at 9AM to make the final deposit - her actual paycheck. If everything went right; no paper work went astray, no data entry errors were made, and if she remembered the sequence she needed to maintain she would start the pay period off, $48.00 in the hole.

If anything were to go wrong; if she couldn't make it to the bank at lunch; if the store would not cash her check because she went to the well once too often, if she forgot, for some reason, any of the steps in the sequence, she would find that she not only owed the $47.23 for the original check, but $48.00 for each subsequent check, plus the over draft fees. Let us calculate the hole Jaime had dug herself.

$47.23 + ($48.00 x 3 for the days leading up to pay day_ = $191.23, if all of the checks bounced because of a mistake add $25.00 per check x 4 checks = $100.00 in penalties for a grand total "debt" of $291.23. That's some mighty expensive baby food, bananas, salt, eggs, etc. But what else could she do? The grocers were not about to let her borrow the food with a promise to pay on Friday. Besides, the "I'll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today" did not work for Wimpy in the Popeye comic strips. No, she did what was "right" by doing what was "illegal" and somehow she was able to justify it that way. But the justification fell far short of alleviating the tension this caused her in her life. Tension which, by the way, caused her body to perspire, her muscles to contract, her pulse to quicken - the constant state of worry depleted her body of calcium, potassium, salt, fluids. The stress, which in short durations primed the body, made it more efficient, more prepared, those enzymes and proteins, and sugars and salts, and adrenaline, is a thing of beauty when kicked into gear during short periods when they are needed. But to maintain that stress too long, depletes the body's reserves.

And now, to the importance of the salt and bananas in this sad tale. Sodium Chloride, ordinary table salt, is vital to the functioning of the human body. As is the potassium, found in the banana. Jaime's cells, those that operate the contractions that enable her muscles to leverage her bones into motion, help her walk; those cells in her brain that function so as to allow her to plan complex sequences to float checks and worry about the next bill to come in the mail, while performing the functions of her job, are dependent on the sodium chloride and potassium in her body to function. This, then, is that magnificent creation, mentioned several times already in this story - the Sodium Potassium Pump.

http://highered.mcgraw-hill.com/sites/0072495855/student_view0/chapter2/animation__how_the_sodium_potassium_pump_works.html


The transfer of the sodium and potassium across the cell membrane as it is repeated causes a minute electrical charge, or more correctly, a difference in electron potential across the cell membrane. The pump is constantly opening channels and "swapping" three positively charged sodium ions with two positively charged potassium ions in and out of the cell. This causes the electrical potential of the cell to vacillate between a positive charge and a slightly more positive charge. The resulting electrical current flow is the basis for all of life. There is little known, for instance, about the sino-atrial node depicted in diagrams for the human heart. This SA node is commonly referred to as the "natural pacemaker" of the heart. Science has endeavored to explain, where it is located and how it functions. All we know, even at this late date in our human history, is it functions on the theory of the sodium potassium pump. If this exchange is interrupted, the potential for the natural pacemaker of the heart to cease functioning, is increased. And, according to the hero of our story, all of this is simply an observation from inside the machine. And, without some outside influence or without the ability to view the workings of the machine from the "outside" the glue that holds the machine together may never be completely know. As it stands at this point in our narrative, and even in our present day, humans (a part of the natural world) "seeing" what holds that atom together and atoms together, to form cells, and cells together to form organs, and the sodium potassium pump together, to give those cells and organs function, would be like a speedometer observing the operation of the automobile, writing a paper on how it functions, and explaining how the automobile came to be. This is an impossibility. It is also the most primary question for all of human philosophical thought, religion, and science. Philosophers struggle with the question of why. Science struggles with the question of how. And religion struggles with the questions who. In this sense, Donny was philosopher, scientist, and priest. As he worked his way home from the office after four or five more minutes of staring at the framed needle work over his door - "In Him All Things Consist" - the question of the sodium-potassium pump once again, began to dominate his thoughts. A small seed of a purpose was sprouting and reaching for the sunshine of reality that had been eclipsed by the sudden darkness into which he was thrust. It was his musings of all of these things, a renewed spark of desire to continue his search, and perhaps the thought that maybe the answer was still out there, that caused him to skip his afternoon stop at the coffee shop and his pitched battle with flimsy straws. Halfway over the Charlestown Bridge, he stopped. Looked to his right at the US Constitution, the oldest active war ship in the naval fleet, docked there - the first time he had done so in over a year. And like a young child, he marvelled at the crisp black and white paint, the rigging upon which sailors clung with buckets of whitewash and tar. The flags adorning the masts and the decks, the noise of the city. His heart leapt with joy and excitement as he looked down between his feet through the grating to the water below. His heart raced, his face became flushed, his pulse quickened, his breath grew short. A smile appeared across his face causing his scraggly beard to bunch up on his cheeks, exposing two rows of imperfect, coffee stained teeth. He felt alive, his humor resurfaced,

"My little pumps are working full steam ahead now..." he said to himself. He then continued his walk, where before it was a lethargic slog of one foot in front of the other, it was now a brisk, energetic stride taken by a man who had been recalled to life.

This was the importance of salt and bananas.

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Top 10 - Romney vs Obama

I don't normally do this, preferring to sit back quietly whilst our way of life is eroded away like, a mansion on the Santa Monica shoreline. However, I've run out of ideas for Chapter 6 of my badly misspelled novel - Combustion so I am taking a break and thought I would give you this, free of charge, of course.

This is my top 10 list which, for the first time in my life, will divulge who I am voting for in this year's November elections.

                Romney                                                                              Obama

10) Can't stand to hear him speak                                       Can listen to him day long
9) Believes Garden of Eden is in southern MO                          Pretty sure its not
8) Pissed off England - N Korea next?                        Hilary will go down as best Sec of State ever
7) That condescending look                                                       Air of confidence
6) Plays the dozens like Archie Bunker                          Plays the dozens like George Jefferson
5) Singing voice?  No                                                               I'm So In Love With You
4) No Poor People                                                                    Knows Poor People
3) Romney's 14%                                                                          My 33%
2)  J. Jonah Jameson sideburns                                                 No A-holeishness              
1) Questions make him nervous                                              Dude's on Letterman for gosh sakes


I've decided that I am going to vote for whomever is not Romney.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Frustration

A self proclaimed expert on attitudes, during a leadership conference, said this:



"70% of what one worries about never happens- 20% of what one worries about turns out better than one expects-10% happens just as you thought it would or worse.So identify and worry only about that 10%."


I would like to add something this motivational speaker failed to mention. The source of frustration and worry does not really come from the details contained within the 10%. The worry and frustration emanate from the FACT that this 10% happens over and over again and is usually caused by the same people over and over again.


I have realized that I am become, have become, or always have been an frustrated old fart. Maybe I was even born an FOF. I guess that could happen.

Sometimes life is a boiled egg that won't peel. You know what its like to peel an egg like this. The shell just breaks off in little sharp pointy egg-shell triangles, usually taking a good part of the egg white with it. So you find yourself leaning over the sink chipping away trying hard not to break through the membrane that is cemented to the edible part of the egg. And don't you just hate it when the egg somehow gets stood on one end in the pot and the yolk settles to the bottom so when you peel it the shell rips away the thin egg white exposing the yolk? No deviled eggs after all.

My recent eye doctor appoint was like peeling an egg. A recent trip to a market specializing in 'world furniture, pottery, and foods' that they don't actually have in stock - they were an unpeelable egg.

Maybe its because I have that rare combination of inborn traits - like I am in constant fear of disappointing my boss and losing my job, coupled with a profession in the service industry- that makes me so intolerant of those in the service industry who fail to provide good service.

Maybe. Maybe I fear the world is in trouble because I see those around me who are much more patient than me.Can they not see commerce and social functioning grinding to a halt? How can they be so tolerant when it comes to waiting in line, discourteous sales staff, ludicrous customer service processes like special discount cards you have to have with you or you get a marked up price. Really? Because I visit your store without my special discount card butter is really $4.98 a box. Really?

How about those business who refuse to do business with you unless you give them your telephone number and address. I'm not giving you that. I don't care. Like, Do you want my money or not?

How about a doctor's office that requires 8 pages of New Patient forms to be filled out which includes questions like : Emergency Contact Not Residing in the Your Home____________________. Tell me doc, what good is it going to do you or me, if I start to die in your office, for you to call my brother 600 miles away? You just gonna tell him I died? I get it. You want collateral in case I don't pay my bill! This isn't a new patient information form, this is a gawl-danged credit application!

Another thing that really bothers me - maybe I've come to expect too much too fast and this is all my fault - is when a store displays something for sale but never has it in stock and they won't sell you the floor model. Really? Another rain check. Thank you no. If you ain't got it, don't waste my time and your floor space displaying something doesn't exist. I recently tried to explain to the manager at this store that if they do not keep things in stock, they are losing sales. She didn't care. I won't go back.

Another box electronics store, saw my last dollar when Patt and I approached the "Help Desk". This desk was inappropriately labelled. It was really the "I won't Help Desk". We needed a new battery for the laptop I am typing this post on. We took the battery to the store and before I laid it on the "Help Desk", the GEEK behind the counter said, and I quote,

"Nope. Can't help you."

Okay. "Nope. I'm not giving you any more of my money. I hope YOU enjoy standing in the soup line when your company crashes and burns!"

Here's another one. What about those mega stores with 20 checkout lanes, 10 of which are close, 8 are self check outs, and 1 is the express lane? I think it is admirable that these stores hire people with special needs but do they really have to have them man the express lane? Really? It's not fair to the shopper and it's certainly not fair to special needs cashier! And why, when the one normal lane has a line that stretches back to the electronics section, is the manager standing there by the ATM machine, looking like a middle aged batman with their radio and all sorts of survival gear on their belt? Why don't they do something like, I don't know, open up another frickin' lane?! And don't get me started on the self check out. Now, not only do I have to bag my own groceries because the special needs cashier will invariably leave out the one thing I really needed and I won't realize it until I get home, but I have to act as your cashier free of charge! I think they ought to give you a discount equal to the mark up you have to pay for forgetting your discount card, just for doing their work for them.

And don't get me started on the coffee shops where you have to stand in line surrounded by yuppie larvae while their mother orders a double tall, low fat latte, with half skim milk, half water, sweet and low at precisely 140 degrees. Just order a dang hot water for pete's sake!

 And I could go on for hours describing my frustration at the dry cleaners that no longer actually clean your clothes on site, but send your wardrobe lord knows where, the banks and government offices that are only open when people with jobs are at work, the auto parts stores and the grease monkeys put in positions where they have to speak with the customer - really, it is difficult to find one of these gear heads that can put a cohesive sentence together, and you can just tell - I mean, you just know - that they don't give a grinding 2nd gear whether your car is over heating or not.

I'll give you one more before my head explodes:

The frickin' Dali Llama is visiting Syracuse New York on the same weekend that Patt and I need to go to Syracuse. Because life is like a boiled egg that doesn't peel, we are having to drive to St. Louis MO first, spend two nights in a hotel there, and then drive back past our home to NY. What was he thinking planning a trip when we've got this going on? Sheesh! Talk about inconsiderate. Never the thought he would be like that. Any way, my real argument is with the hotel rooms who, taking advantage, to the extreme, of the law of supply and demand, have raised, in some cases, doubled their rates! Who in their right mind would pay $208 for a room at the Hotel 5 - I don't care how long they keep the light on for me. Frickin' Dali Llama.

You know, I'm glad Andy Rooney is dead. I mean, for his sake. Can you imagine what would happen if he were alive in the middle of this bee-hive of dysfunction? Why, it would kill him! Wait! Oh my goodness! I am Andy Rooney...

If you don't know who Mr. Rooney is - get on that internet deal and google Utube. I am sure at least one of his classic rants is posted there.




Combustible- Chapter 5- Clara

Donny  dreamed about her. Most of his recent day, the argument over the straws, the walk over the Charlestown bridge, the heavy weight of his pack played no part in his mind. It was rare that the past entered into his thinking at all. In fact, most would swear that Donny didn't think. He was just the weird guy wearing a bow tie, carrying a knapsack, talking to himself. But tonight he dreamed of his dear Clara who he would see no more.  He dreamed of a time when he was a graduate student at Louisiana State University and Clara was a cheerleader for the football team. Their brief engagement and then quickly following marriage had people confused. She was a beauty; he was a dump. When asked how she ended up with the bookish, frumpy physics major, she would say things like "Don't believe all the fairytales. Eventually the smart cheerleaders end up with the geniuses most of the time."

Sometimes, without even knowing why we do it, we make preparations. It could be something as simple as mindlessly tossing a little used map into the glove box. Then when lost, pulling it out and telling yourself, "I sure am glad I put this map in the car." We may even get ourselves a little too much credit, "I sure am glad I was so smart as to put this map in the car." Sometimes its for big things and sometimes a lot of thought is put into the preparation. If the advanced planning is needed there is a sigh of relief; if not there is no big loss and we can take comfort just in knowing we were prepared.

Clara made such preparations months, even years, before her illness. She, the cheerleader, the socialite, had married a genius, it is true. But he was a genius not without his flaws. And in some ways, she was much more intelligent when it came to the things of real life. Clara knew she was ill, she wrote in a diary, 3 years before she was finally diagnosed with a rare form of lukemia. Alas, she did not tell her husband. He, who relied on her for everything - clothes to wear, paying the bills, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and even pointing him in the right direction as he left for his walk to work everyday. She had set up a trust fund using the value of a life insurance policy her parents had bought for her when she was born. She had created a will that provided for basic care for Donny in the event of her death. A salaried caretaker was thus hired; bills were set up to auto pay. The local grocer's delivered Donny's groceries every week and the care taker prepared the food for him, boxed him up lunches, provided him his allowance of cash, and through the trust fund, provided healthcare, clothing, transportation - if needed - all of Donny's cares were taken care of. When Clara died, Donny understood the physics of it. Her cells stopped working. Something had infected the Sodium-Potassium pump and lowered its efficiency. The cells could not longer fight infection and slowly, agonizingly, he watched the love of his life literally waste away.

Somehow she knew that Donny would collapse without her so she made the preparations. And even still, you see what he has become - somewhat oblivious, socially awkward, withdrawn, forgetful like he always has something on his mind.

The slamming of the door caused Donny to open his eyes. "That must be Ms. Davis", he thought to himself. "Time to get up." Donny dressed in the wrinkled shirt and slacks, put on fresh socks and proceeded with his ritual of forcing his feet into still tied shoes. He tightened his bow tie, said hello to the slightly built, slightly greying, slightly wrinkled spinster who was busily unloading a grocery sack into the refrigerator.

"Mr. Mackey," she asked in mock derision, "are you just now getting up?"

"Ms. Davis", he nodded, "had a late night."

"You want breakfast? I'll whip one right up!" She did not wait for Donny to respond. In a blue/gray tornado of activity and the constant sound of rattling dishes and the hum of a gas burner she prepared what she called her Hobbit Breakfast Special. Within minutes a plate of two hard cooked Marin eggs - James Bond's favorite eggs, dark brown, almost chocolate shells and deep yellow yolks - link sausage, grilled cherry tomatoes and mushrooms coated in a buttery sauce, a thick slice of French bread, a small chunk of Cotswold Cheddar cheese were set before him with a cup of coffee - black - and a large glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

Donny sat down to eat. He appreciated everything the housekeeper did for him though he did not always express this to her. They had grown used to the silence and in some way she worried what would happen to the gentle but excitable professor when she could no longer perform her weekly tasks. "Well eventually, he's going to have to take care of himself." she would think. Perhaps he would.

Clara's death had done something to Donny. He was never quite the socialite his wife had been. He was shy but given to fits of temper, which, when caught fire, usually ended up at the end of an awkward situation, with Clara apologizing, taking his hand, and leading him away from those he had offended. Especially toward the end, when Donny could see something was wrong with her, but Clara just said she was fine. When his research hit a brick wall and funding dried up; when his crack-pot ideas, the words of dean of the physics school, had stung him and he had been removed from the classroom. The happy, fairytale beginning for Clara and Donny, ended up, not in New Orleans, with him shaping young minds, but in Boston, because he had no where else to go. A small consortium of scientists invited him to join their research partnership, privately funded by a philanthropist millionaire who had lost his son in mysterious circumstances. Donny's prior research at Tulane, which was inspired by the death of his wife, consisted of trying to explain the causes behind cell mutations that caused, or were at least, marked by diseases as far ranging as Cystic Fibrosis, Lukemia, Sickle-Cell Anemia, and others. His research also studied the condition of cells, the function of the sodium-potassium pump and how its performance decayed to the point of ceasing to function at all and the subsequent death of the body. What, you may ask, is a physicist doing on a research project concerning the biological and chemical processes of the human body?

Donny believed in the unified answer that has been alluding all philosophers throughout the history of such thoughts. He truly believed, when everything was okay, when he was on top of the world, that there was a reason for everything. He decided to start, and received funding through the Tulane University Research Review Board for, a project that would investigate the entropy, that caused the human cell to eventually shut down. This was true mechanical engineering applied to bioscience and it fascinated him to be able to explore this world. The questions he asked his students, 'What is the answer to 2+2=4?', was much more of a philosophical questions than even the philosophy major had realized. In the physical world there are phenomena that are reproducible. Mankind knows it works. Mankind, also, attempts to explain the phenomena with equations, theories, and pictures. But, Donny believed, those are only representations of the way things are - not explanations for why or how they work. When he asked his students that simple math question he had something deeper in mind. Something, that had become an obsession for him; something that he had devoted his life and research to. This question brought him to Boston. This question of a unified answer, a purpose for everything, and answer for why the world works as it does, kept him alive. It was then, in the midst of one of the happiest times in his life, Clara's death shook his belief in a unified answer at its very foundation. He became dysfunctional to extreme degrees and were it not for Ms. Davis, who was now cleaning up the dishes in the kitchen, he would have starved to death under a stack of newspapers.

"You going to church with my tomorrow Mr. Mackey? It's been a while..."

Donny always declined her weekly invitation but since Ms. Davis could see that Donny had not yet dealt with his new lonely life and that he was struggling with the answer of why Clara had passed, she kept asking.

"I don't think so, Ms. Davis. I'll be heading back to the office tomorrow as usual."

Donny, every morning, made the walk back across the Charlestown Bridge into downtown Boston, to his small studio/office. He made the walk, expectantly, as if something important would be waiting for him there. Many years ago he had subscribed to at least 50 newspapers - it was a part of his research he would say - and every morning he always had at least a dozen waiting for him. Some inside the drop box built into the large painted oak door - grey, and then when the postman couldn't fit any more inside, he dropped them haphazardly onto the cracked side walk just beneath the awning. What he was looking for in the papers was a mystery to the few people who knew him and tolerated his idiosyncrasies.

This Sunday started, for Donny, as every Sunday since becoming a widower, losing faith in reason, and being asked to leave the university. He awoke, put on his wrinkled out fit, forced his feet into his laced up shoes. He loaded his pack with yesterday's newspapers and began his trek. The stop at the coffee shop was uneventful, the straw actually worked this time, and as he made his way through the highrises of north Boston, dodging early morning tourists, hurriedly trying to get to their planned attractions, taxi cabs, buses, and the homeless, he made his way the whole 7 miles to Copley Square. His office was on the second floor of an old, and now out of place, brownstone building nestled between two massive hotels at one end of the convention center. The apartment, now office, had been purchased many years ago and in spite of pressure from developers, had not been sold. It was Donny's retreat. He approached the door and pulled his key ring out of his pocket.

"Grey key - Grey Door" he recited to himself. He turned the bronze door knob to the left and with no little effort pushed the heavy door open which, in turn, pushed away the pile of newly delivered newspapers that had fallen out of the box onto the floor, sweeping the dust away like the wing of a snow angel.

He closed the door behind him, turned to view his empire. The office was one room with an adjoining restroom that is shared with the office next door, and small telemarketing firm. The room held that particular form of stasis between clutter and organization. An outsider would, at once, see the clutter, but with a second look, would see at least a resemblance of a filing system. The large, solid wood, book cases, stained a deep walnut, reached from the floor to the ceiling and encircled the room. A ladder, like those in old libraries, rested at an angle on a single track that also encircled the room. A narrow path of the circumference of which was kept clear to allow access to any shelf at any height. His desk was situated in the middle of the room and facing a large bay window, that, like the whole building itself, was out of place, surrounded as it was by the oversized, perfectly flat glass fronting the skyscrapers to either side. It had been many years since the natural light of the sun shone directly through this window. Now only the intensified reflections from the buildings across the street made their way into the room. The heat was intolerable at times, but the light kept the direct billed electric rates low. His chair was of leather, dark, well worn, custom fit to his body after years of use, and comfortable, not like those inadequate chairs where he gets his coffee. The desk was stacked with papers, some yellowed, some crinkled because the awning had not protected them from a recent rain. The blotter pad in the middle of the desk was clear and ready for him to write or read or to stare at. Across the room, behind the desk was stretched a woven clothes line upon which other papers, recently soaked by the elements, were hung to dry. There is no phone, no computer, just Donny and his books and newspapers and journals in which contained years of cryptic notes only he could understand, written in the left handed scrawl, thin, wiry, and somehow elegant, of a genius with nothing better to do.

The hard wood floors, where they could be seen, were in need of a good sweeping and refinishing, as his foot prints were easily recognizable in the dust that covered them like flour on breadmaker's table. Just over the door, from which Donny entered, and subsequently, the only open wall space in the entire room, hung a needlepoint framed in a black plastic frame, also dusty, the words from his non-annotated Cambridge edition, King James Version of the Bible:

"And he is before all things, and by him all things consist." - Collossians 1:17


Clara had made this for him using dark blue lettering on a sterling white back ground that had, over time, turned a dull grey. This served Donny, in his early research days, as a reminder of his purpose, his unified answer. And though that reminder was still strong, it did not retain the fire in him as in the past. Somehow, now, it served him as a reminder that if all things do consist in this god, that he made a very poor job of it, especially where Clara was concerned.   Donny unloaded his pack onto the cleared blotter pad on the desk and retrieved the newly delivered papers from the pile at the door. He must remember to leave a thank you to the poor postman who must carry these burdens up a flight of steps every morning. Donny, as is probably little surprise to you, never remembered to say thank you at all. Every morning Donny's real world was lost in perusing the multitude of periodicals he collected in search of clues, that no one, not even the Google, whatever that was, could provide him. . He arranged the papers in order of their state of origin and laid them out as closely as he could geographically, as if the map of the United States was imprinted on the desk. The Oregonian, The Seattle Post Intelligencer, the Billings Gazette to the Northwest; The Santa Fe Times, The San Antonio Express to the Southwest; The Oklahoma Constitution, The Columbus Dispatch and others through the Midwest, Ohio Valley, Southeast and Eastern seaboards, one by one, "Look at the title, look at the date, arrange where it belongs, then we read", Donny thought to himself. Donny was looking for answers, for clues, for hope in the columns of what strangers wrote ostensibly to provide unbiased facts for their readers. For no reason at all, Donny would confess later, he picked up the Arkansas Democrat Gazette, the oldest newspaper west of the Mississippi. He started on the front page and read every word of every article, even those with continuing pages designated when the editor ran out of room. The side bars were noted in a journal. Nothing yet. He turned page after page, reading every word, searching for key words that would spark his interest. He would then, in these rare cases, make a note in a journal, catalogued as to the date, the edition, the paper, and the subject. Funny pages, sports pages, ads, and inserts were all the subject of Donny's investigative eye. In section F of the Gazette, Business and Agriculture, a small column caught his eye. He laid the paper down without reading it. Something similar to excitement filled his breast, the feeling of his last quickening pulse was a life time ago. He took a deep breath, picked up the paper and resumed reading once again.  

"Unusual Circumstances Surround Organic Farmer
October 11, 2002
by Dave Cordis

Perryville AR- Mystery surrounds the sudden death of a local Perryville organic farmer. Just hours after arriving home from a local market, remains of Robert "Sy" _________ was found on his property in the Antioch Community, after neighbors reported hearing a small explosion and witnessing a "floating ball of light". One witness who first arrived at the scene says there was an aroma he described as ozone similar to that following a lightning strike. Authorities have ruled out the possibility of a lightning as the cause, as the sky was clear when the incident occurred. Positive identification was made by the Perry County coroner's office from the shoes, ash, and extremities of the victim found at the scene. One theory is that of spontaneous human combustion and the incident, says an Arkansas State Crime Lab spokesman is "very similar to another reported three months ago in Louisville KY. Human Combustion is rare and cases where this is the only explanation are usually closed with no cause of death. It is just a theory with no basis in science." No cause of death, in this incident or the one in Louisville, has been determined as of the date of this printing."

Donny was stunned. After years of searching, he finally had a report of a phenomenon he had been researching since the early nineties - spontaneous human combustion. His research into the mechanics of human cells had led him into this "slippery slope" of science, the basis of which is reasoned thus. If human cells, cardiac, muscle, blood or otherwise, really are "closed" packages as they are depicted in the vernacular of the scientific community, then the application of Charles/Boyles law of Pressures in a closed system should apply. If, the cell is a self contained package as observations show us, then if the pressure within the cell increases, the temperature will also increase. Likewise, if the temperature within the cell increased, the pressure will increase proportionately. This logical path brought Donny face to face with two problems. The first is, in the right circumstance and under the right conditions, can a cell destroy itself based on this law of pressures? If they can not immediately implode or explode due to an increase in pressure or temperature, can they, over time, cause the entropy that has been identified in cases of natural death. Can this be the cause of illness or disease? In other words, perhaps smoking and eating biscuits and gravy are not the cause of heart stoppage due to artery blockage and nicotine poisoning. Perhaps, over time, wide swings in cell pressure and temperature simply weakens and eventually wears out the functioning of what is known in the scientific community as the sodium-potassium pump.  The second problem Donny faced was the acceptance, or lack thereof, of this theory which really sought to challenge long held theories of disease and its treatment, developed by the medico-scientific community since the Marlboro Man had been banned from television ads. Needless to say, Donny's research had not been accepted, he had become the pariah of the scientific community, labelled a crack pot, and black-listed from any funding provided by the government or private pharmaceutical companies with a vested interested in keeping people sick. The final straw was Donny's request for a research grant to look into the phenomenon of Spontaneous Human Combustion, the natural extension of his theory surrounding cell temperatures and pressures. His theory, simple in its construction, was that this human combustion might be caused by an intensive change in the temperature of the cells of the human body, in such concentration throughout the body, that the very material, liquids, fats, muscle, etc. simply caught fire and burned, quickly from inside the body out. It was the stuff of dreams, science-fiction, or a maniacal mind. Then Clara died and Donny's world with her.

But now, as he sat at his desk, reading and re-reading the account of Sy in Perryville Arkansas, he felt a resurgence of a passion he had long since forgotten. He set the Arkansas Democrat Gazette aside, picked up his journal and recorded the entry, with the only particulars that were contained in the article. At the end of his entry, immaculately recorded in his aforementioned scrawl, he wrote: "See Louisville Courier-Journal - August 2002. Setting the journal down as he stood up, he scanned the walls of his office, quickly found the newspaper shelf for 2002, located the cardboard magazine file, in which the papers from August were stored, and pulled them out of their tightly packed position. He found the paper he was looking for. He opened it where he stood and read every word until he found a small entry in an the personal interest section.

"...Occupy Louisville....Summer ________...hands and feet, loud flash, and then a hovering white light...cause of death unknown..."

Donny turned around, stupefied. "Two in three months after 10 years of nothing, statistically significant, what do I do next? Clara what do I do?"  He fell into one of those wide-awake stupors we sometimes find ourselves in, as if he were waiting for Clara to answer. When he came out of it he was staring at the needle point hung above the door. "In Him all things consist. We'll see", he said as he closed up the office and headed back north to his home, somehow, with a renewed curiosity about the elusive, unified answer to everything..."

*    *    *

The day after Thanksgiving, 2002 - Little Rock Arkansas - War Memorial Stadium, Markham Street - The Miracle On Markham.

The overcast sky did not do the grand old structure of the stadium justice. The rain had stopped, the seats were still covered in drops that the more austere attendees wiped clean with souvenir towels or pocket handkerchiefs. The less austere simply sat down figuring they were going to get wet at sometime during the game so might as well start now. Flags upon poles, one for each state, one for the nation, and to some, just as importantly, one for each school in the conference, flapped in the wind along the top circumference of War Memorial. The pregame festivities were just concluded and the home team band began the all too familiar march to form the 'A' the football team would run through to start the game. With the exception of the band playing their march into formation the stadium was quiet in anticipation as, from the south, a squadron of A-10 Tank Busters from the National Guard Base in Ft. Smith grumbled their way directly overhead. A little over a year after the 9/11 attacks on America, the crowd rose to its feet in a deafening roar. God Bless America, God Bless Arkansas, God Bless the Razorbacks! God Bless the Southeastern Conference! The dark grey camouflage of the jets made them barely visible against the dark grey sky. Fifty seven thousand stood to their feet as if they were all connected by a single muscle as the Fighting Razorbacks exited the tunnel and ran through the uprights of the 'A' formed by the marching band.

Though their opponent on this blustery day was the powerhouse, LSU Tigers, the crowd expected a big day from their home town college, which, by some quirk of state government, was actually located three hours to the Northwest in Fayetteville Arkansas. Two games a year were played in this home away from home, ostensibly to keep the money-fans happy in the central and southern parts of the state content.

The Razorbacks are the Chicago Cubs of the college football. They always seem to beat a team they should not; they always lose to a team they should not; and periodically they rise to the precipice of greatness, only to choke an almost certain victory into an agonizing defeat. The year, 2002, culminating in this annual rivalry game against LSU was no different. And now, the only way for the Razorbacks to make it to the championship game was to beat the ruthless, fast, and mean LSU Tigers.

This regional game had come to have national significance mostly because it was the last potential stumbling block for the Tigers, who had just run onto the field accompanied by a chorus of boo-s from the delusion Razorback faithful. Donny was watching in Boston, from his dark, melancholy study, on a TV with a Cathode Ray Tube and no remote. He had to get up and turn the big knob on the front of the set if he wanted to change the channel. As you may remember, Clara was a former LSU cheerleader and she forced Donny to watch this Thanksgiving game every year  - back then, he feigned discomfort at such a waste of time, but now, he missed the tradition. Somehow watching the game provided him some comfort after all. If he truly believed Clara was somewhere, he figured she would be watching. So he did too.

Donny turned the volume down to barely audible as the talking heads on the broadcast gave him a headache. He always thought it funny that pencil necked geeks who had never played football somehow became experts. And he always laughed when they tried to make up words like "Trickeration", "Joggernut" as in, "This team has proven to be quite the Joggernut as they've made their way through conference play". The camera scanned the crowd and then finally came into focus on the hot shot Razorbacks quarterback. He was seated at the end of the bench waiting for the opening kickoff, his legs sprawled, helmet off, a grin on his face. His arms were outstretched and perched upon the back of the bench as if he was cuddling a cute, but invisible, cheerleader to either side. To look at him, one would think he was a California surfer dude, but Alma Arkansas, is not California, though they do produce passable local wines. The sideline reporter described him as "cooler than the other side of the pillow" in his opening analysis. The talking continued until finally, mercifully, the teams kicked off and received and the game began.

Neither team did well. The game, by all accounts, was excruciating to watch. Donny lost interest, napped a bit, made a microwave pizza. Somehow, two and a half hours later, LSU had a 21-7 lead, despite playing as sloppily as their opponent. In this case, to call the lack of offensive productivity simply the result of excellent defense on the part of both teams would be silly. The wet, dark conditions, perhaps the teams had too much Turkey and Dressing the night before, at any rate it was agonizingly slow. To put it in perspective, the Razorbacks had a paltry 90 yards of total offense with no completed passes in the first half. The hot shot quarterback was laying an egg. The crowd knew it but none of them left. Somehow, he could always pull it out in the end. "Not this time" a naysayer spoke up, "We're screwed. It's the Liberty Bowl again."

Donny woke up from a game-induced nap mid way through the 3rd quarter and nothing had changed. Both teams looked inept. Neither had scored. Neither had completed a pass. Neither wanted to take control of the game. The 3rd quarter ended, the commercial breaks ensued, and then, in much the same way the last quarter of the game, apparently in an effort to kill the viewers, began. The first incomplete pass by the Razorback's quarter back opened the flood gate of fair weather fans, who soaked, cold, and tired of the ineptitude, headed for the exits to find their cars parked up to two miles away or on the golf course next door. This exodus continued for several more minutes as many finally gave up hope for a miracle.

The radio commentators in the home team booth high above the field in their special dove-cote of a box were trying new comedy material because they had run out of positive things to say early on, had given up on the negative things because they too were getting depressed. The game was all but over, they said, unless the Hogs can get something going here with less than a minute thirty to go.

A pause here, may be sufficient, to describe for the reader, especially those in the northern climes, what college football means to the southerner. I hope you excuse my indulgence into this peculiar study of this peculiar segment of American culture - perhaps if I were to promise you that the conclusion of this chapter really does have an integral part to play in Donny's life and the rest of our story - would that help? We'll see.

There is a particular religion through out the Bible Belt. Sweeping from West Texas, Oklahoma, Arkansas, Louisiana, Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida, the fanatical followers of this religion really find one thing sacred - that is, the liturgy of Saturday afternoons. And for a religion which days of worship are one day a week and only from September to November, it has taken a foothold on America that surpasses the impact of the Great Awakening. There is no hyperbole here. Camping trips, shopping, yard work, eating, sleeping, showering, dog walking, any number of activities are minutely scheduled around their worship services on Saturday afternoons.

"Honey can you take out the garbage, change the light bulb in the basement, and mow the yard today?" says the wife.

With microprocessor like calculations, the parishioner of this peculiar church, determines the validity and achievability of this request, and accurately determines his response.

"I can take out the garbage now..." is what he says. Brain function speeds up as he determines the number of minutes to the opening kick off, and then "I'll do the basement light at half time." His brain goes into overdrive, because, I think he really wants to please his wife, and he calculates the probability of his mowing a 5,000 square foot lawn with a push mower between the final buzzer of the 1st game of a double header weekend, and the beginning of the night cap. "I'll do the yard tomorrow after church and before Sunday Night Football."

This conversation happens throughout the south every weekend as grills are loaded with charcoal, watches are frequently checked, radios are turned on in vehicles so not a moment of the game festivities is lost. Really, they must be obsessed turn on a radio so they can hear the pre-game call-in shows,

"Hello, this is the CornDog, Roll Tide!", the caller says, "Huh, I have a question and a comment. I thank are one'y chaince at beatin' da Gater's t'day is if are awffense outscores'em. What you guys thank?"

I digress. Pickup trucks, cars, and RVs, adorned with streamers, magnetic decals, and flags all in their school colors make their way down interstates across the south, to set up in parking lots, front lawns, golf courses, and groves of trees to partake in the ritual called "Tailgating". Night games in the college football south are hell, pure hell, for the visiting team and their fans, as the home town crowd gets adequately medicated starting early in the morning and through out the day, only to let loose in some quite undignified behaviour once the game actually starts. The games themselves are episodes of drama, elation, disappointment, pride, shame, smiles, and tears. Emotions all as diverse as the rituals, chants, and cheers that provide additional color to their "church" meetings. The Gator chops of Florida, The War Eagle flying into the stadium at Auburn, The Hotty Toddy in Oxford, Bulldogs, Hedges surrounding the field within the stadium at Athens Georgia, Mike the LSU Tiger, Tusk the Razorback Russian Boar, and many others are the rituals practiced every weekend. The religious fervor comes to its point at the kick off to open the game as the respective rally cries from the faithful are lifted into the air, in one voice, as incense is lifted in praise of their glorious god.

It was just such a cheer that woke Donny from his nap. There was a minute fourteen left in the game and the Razorbacks had just gotten the ball back deep in their end of the field. With 72 yards to go, down 20 to 14, after a dismal 3 and a half hours of football idiocy, the cocky, shot gun quarterback took the field. Something happened - no one knows what. At least a few of the home crowd left in the stands on this cold Friday afternoon would swear it was Divine Intervention, others would say that the coach got a "Wild Hair" and "Lit A Fire Under'em" but the crowd, again, stood as one and began one of the most iconic cheers in all of college football - They started "Calling the Hogs". As one body they slowly raised both arms in time to the long preamble "Whoooooooooo", which, according to standards set by the University of Arkansas should last at least 7 seconds. With arms fully extended above their heads, both hands flapping back and forth on the vertical axis (kind of like the Queen of England waves), both arms are then brought down sharply and held close to their rib cages, hands balled up in a fist, as they shout "PIG!", and then a sharp extension of the arms again, this time angled slightly forward, as if to punch the other team from across the field, with another shout "Sooie!" Another flex of the arms, "Razorbacks!" The magic formula for a come-behind win, after stinking it up all day, against one of the top teams in the country, on a cold and windy day, is to repeat this mantra at least three times in succession. At the end of the 3rd round of the Hog Call, the hot shot quarterback took the snap and retreated into the pocket formed by the offensive line. The cheers from the crowd became deafening, and it got Donny's attention. Suddenly the protection from the line broke through and Hot Shot was in trouble. Known for his elusiveness and staying cool under pressure, he skipped, skedaddled, and with a twist, turned to his right and rolled out toward the sidelines. It all happened so quickly, no one would dare to suggest that they just "knew"- they just "knew" in their hearts and souls something unbelievable was taking place. As Hot Shot approached the sideline he lofted what is commonly referred to as a "wounded duck" up into the air. If this play were reenacted for a Hollywood movie, time would stand still; the hero and the heroine would hold a conversation, kiss, and plan the rest of their lives. The crowd would hold its breath for an impossibly long time without turning blue or passing out, the music would intensify as the real-world sounds would silence themselves. It did, in retrospect, seem like an eternity before this wobbly, Billy Kilmer-esqe pass dropped like a stone out of the sky, and not to the ground like the previous 14 passes had done that day, but right into the open arms of a Razorback wide receiver, who by divine mercy, a defensive lapse in technique, or pure luck, at the LSU 23 yard line.

Another Hog Call filled the air as the clock was stopped momentarily while the officials spotted the ball, now miraculously deep in the opponent's territory. Now with less than a minute left in the game, Hot Shot trailed his team as they raced against the clock to line up for the next play. Donny sat up on the edge of his sofa. He was not a football fan and he tried to root for LSU, but despite is best efforts, he was focused on this kid from Alma Arkansas, who apparently oblivious to the situation, calmly jogged up the field as time wound down. The rest of the team and the LSU defensive group were lined up and ready to go. 26...25...24 seconds to go. Hot Shot eventually made it up to the line. They did not huddle...23...22...21...20. He called the signals and there was a pause to make sure everyone was set. A penalty at this point would stop the clock but lose them valuable field position...19...18...

Keep in mind, reader, that this player had not completed a pass all day, until the previous play. Many of the local fans had left for home. There was no reason for this all coming to pass. It's just a game. But somehow, and Donny had recognized it, a massive surge of energy infused the stands, the field, the air, the living rooms and bars where it was being watched on television. Even in Donny's home there was a palpable pressure, pulses beat faster, blood pressures rose, cheeks on cute little cheerleaders flushed, old men tried to stay composed, old women tried to act like they were disinterested, the radio commentators tried to stay focused...but something was happening.

17...16...15 seconds and the clock still running. Hot Shot took the snap, evaded a would be tackle that would have ended the game...14...13...Hot Shot lofted another "wounded duck" into the right-back corner of the endzone where, with a catch that will forever live in the minds of Razorback nation, and live in infamy to those from Baton Rouge....Number 22 caught Hot Shot's second completed pass of the day with 12 seconds left.

"Touchdown! Razorbacks! Oh My!", said the legendary commentator on local radio.

"Can you believe this?" said the not-so-legendary broadcast partner in the booth with him that day.

The score was tied. All the Razorbacks needed was to kick the ball through the uprights for the extra point. The snap...the place...the kick...it was good. Arkansas 21, LSU 20.

This game, now called, the Miracle on Markham, will forever be remembered by those who saw it and those who didn't will lie and say they did. But it was not without its tragedy.

Kenny Dumas was one of those Razorback fans that left the game at half time. He was born and raised in Little Rock but most of his family was from Abita Springs Louisiana. He dreaded family reunions because as an avowed Hog fan he was subject to all sorts of abuse from his LSU loyal family. The abuse was much like some in the American Christian Church heap on others within their religion. Baptist Churches get mad at each other and start new churches. Honestly, would any one go to a 3rd Baptist Church anyway? When Episcopalians get made at each other they start another denomination. It is the same with the new religion of the south. When attacked from the outside by a team from another conference, they all come together in support of their unity. In stadium across the southeast one can hear, at least once "SEC!SEC!" during the day. But bring a brother into town, well then, the fight is on!

Kenny did not drive home. He was sad. Not because of the game necessarily, but because of life. He had no one to share it with, a job he hated. He had bought season tickets, though he couldn't really afford it. This new church he found gave him peace, for as long, and as often as he could watch the game. His old church, ostensibly unified in Christ, rejected him, because he didn't tithe. When it was found out that he dropped $575 on football tickets, he was made the subject of a sermon. His name wasn't used but everyone knew who the minister was talking about. He had hoped, at least, for a good game this weekend. It would make next week just a little bit better for him.

Kenny did not leave the stadium parking lot. He sat in his truck, smoking cigarettes he could not afford, and listened to the rest of the game on the radio. When that first pass of the game was completed, he found hope infuse his body, even as the hot ember of his smoke fell to his lap, burning a hole in his jeans. When the second pass was caught and he heard the roar of the crowd from the stadium, and then the roar on the radio after the 5 second delay, a big smile crossed his face, and then:

A loud pop, like a large firecracker, smoke, ash, and a hovering white light behind the wheel. When it was discovered, the stadium security team documented, a pair of boots, snake skin motorcycle boots,  on the floor board; the lower extremities of the legs standing upright in them as if an invisible person was still attached and sitting there. One hand was outside the truck on the pavement, apparently burnt off, still squeezed between the fore and middle fingers the now extinguished cigarette butt, Marlboro Red 100. Back inside the car, a right hand grasping the floor mounted gear shift. In the seat, scorched but not burnt was a pile of ashes. Nothing else except the still visible foot print of what officials think is a small bird.

Friday, September 14, 2012

High

I feel okay. Like a lonely drifter, slogging through a rainsoaked night, covered only in a threadbare coat, cresting the hill, mud upon his shoes, rain has just stopped its pelting beat upon sand, and rock, and leaf, Lo the sun awakens, or he has awakened it by walking towards it, and its deep red emergence slowly turns to orange and then yellow warmth, and he becomes dry and new hope infuses the spaces between his eyes, tumbles down his throat, and warms his extremities.

But what saith the scriptures?

For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning. Psalm 30:5



Oh for a morning, waking me, expectantly, excited to face the challenges of the day! Sprining from bed, I would, I know I would, conquer the world on such a morning!




Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Low

I feel low. Like a million souls just cried out in agony and then were silenced. Like a dog, who loving his master unconditionally, runs to him tongue a scatter, tail a wagging, and without a thought of what he's done wrong, receives a kick on the nose. Like a viral melancholoy infecting, the constipated souls of  a troupe of clowns, who having performed the same schtick over and again and are out of jokes, and the jokes weren't ever really funny anyway.  The acrobats are grounded, suddenly succumbing to an oppressive gravity; the animals, once allowed to run free, then run in the ring, are now standing still in their stifling confinements; the circus, once a buzz, once exciting, once a long looked for celebration is all packed up and headed out through the bad part of town; the open field where it once stood is still littered with popcorn, cotton candy, paper, and spent ticket stubs. Holes remain where once, the mighty tent poles stood. The big top is folded haphazardly into a lump like the fresh carcass of the once mighty dead.

Like something happened and you are caught up in the flying and twirling and in the setting of rings on fire and then, abruptly, it ends. And you only find that there is really no show beyond the stage and the final curtain. And the show you just saw was simply-
 an illusion.







The Haagen Dazs Parallax Explained

In the story entitled "Interlude" posted on this blog this weekend past, I introduced the concept of the Haagen Dazs Parallax. I used this definition of Parallax in the text:

Parallax is a displacement or difference in the apparent position of an object viewed along two different lines of sight.

The main characters in this story had happened upon a situation which, much like those optical illusions one sees in photographs, offered at least two differing perspectives of the situation depending on the participant's point of view. This principle of perspective is how the illusions are acheived. The young girl holding up the Eiffel Tower in the palm of her hand, for instance. In this story of an imperfect man, who tries hard but rarely gets it right, and his idea of his wife and how they came to be man and wife, there are three perspectives employed. The first is that of the man and wife, who, through circumstances and choices, wound up living with his parents; and the second, that of the man's sister, who through circumstances and choices, still lived with her mother as well.   To the sister in the story, her sister-in law's purchase of the Haagen Dazs ice cream was an aggregious attack on propriety; a symbol of selfishness; ungrateful and inconsiderate. Words this character may have used come to mind, if I were rewriting the dialogue for some reason; words like "How could you waste money on this frivoloty when you are mooching off your husband's parents." Or this, "You have your priorities messed up if you are spending your money on this instead of ". This certainly is a point of view. From the position of the sister, right or wrong, this is the opinion she chose to make out of what she thought she really saw when the wife walked in with the ice cream. To the sister, the ice cream was a really big thing.   To the husband, the perspective was much different. What he saw in the ice cream was his wife enjoying herself for the first time in a year. He had the benefit, perhaps, of dealing with the end-of-the-pay period blues; of seeing his wife sacrifice everything to buy diapers, milk, and pay the bills. To the husband the ice cream was really the only way to physically show his wife that he understood - he couldn't offer her anything else. And an attack on his wife over a tub of ice cream really set the stage for the big family meeting to come. At that point, when the ice cream came into view, that was all he had to give. But as you read in the story, he soon found something bigger to give - committment. To the husband, the ice cream was really small.  
I don't pretend to know how women think. So I left alot of the perspective of the female characters unwritten. But since I am the mystical overlord of the universes I try to create in print, I will do my best.  To the wife, the ice cream was a harmless indulgence, that perhaps gave her some hope. How many of us do not take a few minutes to sit in the tub or eat a double dessert or turn the radio up really loud from time to time, just because life has become so difficult and complex. How many of us, after perhaps months or years of not buying anything for ourselves would limit our "break loose" extravaganzas to a $4.00 tub of ice cream? To the wife, the ice cream was everything.  

It is difficult, I know, when reading something to try to read one's self into the story. We try very hard, by human natutre, to identify with some character or some event. It is precisely this, that causes the parallax in the first place. We all have our own perspective. I am sure, at some point, someone will read this and Interlude, and try to do just this. They will try, whether they think they are or not, to read themselves into the story. And they may completely disagree with the perspectives I put my characters into. All I can say is this. This is a story from a man to his wife in anticipation of his anniversary, which he always forgets. In those instances where you the reader "read yourself" into a sympathetic character, you are welcome. In those instances where you find yourselves offended that I placed a character into an unflattering perspective - everything will be okay.